THIS
IS
A
FUCKING
TEST
WE’RE
JUST
NORMAL
MEN.
WHAT
DO
YOU
MEAN
NORMAL
MEN?
WE’RE
JUST
INNOCENT
MEN.
SNORT
LAUGHTER
MARIACHI
HEY CHARLES, LET ME TALK TO YOU. I'M TALKING TO CHARLES RAMSEY, HE'S THE NEIGHBOR - WALK ME THROUGH WHAT HAPPENED THIS AFTERNOON. YOU HEARD SCREAMING?
I HEARD SCREAMING. I'M EATING MY MCDONALD'S. I COME OUTSIDE. I SEE THIS GIRL GOING NUTS, TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. SO I GO ON THE PORCH AND SHE SAYS, "HELP ME GET OUT, I'VE BEEN IN HERE A LONG TIME." SO I FIGURED IT WAS A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DISPUTE, SO I OPEN THE DOOR AND WE CAN'T GET IN THAT WAY CAUSE HOW THE DOOR IS, IT'S SO MUCH THAT A BODY CAN'T FIT THROUGH THERE, ONLY YOUR HAND. SO WE KICKED IN THE BOTTOM. SO SHE COMES OUT WITH A LITTLE GIRL AND SHE SAYS, "CALL 911, MY NAME IS AMANDA BERRY."
AND DID YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS WHEN SHE SAID THAT?
WHEN SHE TOLD ME, IT DIDN'T REGISTER UNTIL I GOT TO CALLIN' 911 AND THEN I'M LIKE, "I'M CALLING 911 FOR AMANDA BERRY? I THOUGHT THIS GIRL WAS DEAD!" YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND SHE GOT ON THE PHONE AND SHE SAID, "YES, THIS IS ME" AND THE DETECTIVE - DETECTIVE GREGORY COOK SAID, "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU RESCUED?" I SAID... I SAID...
NOW WHEN DID YOU SEE GINA?
ABOUT 5 MINUTES AFTER THE POLICE GOT HERE. SEE, THE GIRL [AMANDA] TOLD THE POLICE, "I AIN'T JUST THE ONLY ONE. IT'S SOME MORE GIRLS UP IN THAT HOUSE!" SO THERE GO IN UP THERE, YOU KNOW, 30-40 DEEP AND WHEN THEY CAME OUT IT WAS JUST ASTONISHING CAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WAS GONNA COME UP WITH NOTHING. I FIGURED, I MEAN, WHO EVER SHE WAS - AND LIKE I SAID, MY NEIGHBOR... YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME BIG TESTICLES TO PULL THIS OFF, BRO! CAUSE WE SEE THIS DUDE EVERY DAY. I MEAN EVERYDAY!
HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE?
I'VE BEEN HERE A YEAR. YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM? I'VE BBQ'D WITH THIS DUDE! WE EAT RIBS AND WHAT NOT - AND LISTEN TO SALSA MUSIC! YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM?
AND YOU HAD NO INDICATION THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG?
NOT A - BRO, NOT A CLUE THAT THAT GIRL WAS IN THAT HOUSE - OR ANYBODY ELSE WAS IN THERE AGAINST THEIR WILL BECAUSE HOW HE IS. HE JUST COMES OUT TO HIS BACK YARD; PLAYS WITH THE DOGS, TINKERS WITH HIS CARS AND MOTORCYCLES AND GOES BACK IN THE HOUSE. SO HE'S SOMEBODY THAT YOU LOOK AT AND LOOK AWAY BECAUSE HE'S NOT DOING NOTHING BUT THE AVERAGE STUFF. YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? AIN'T NOTHING EXCITING ABOUT HIM. WELL... UNTIL TODAY!
WHAT WAS THE REACTION ON THE GIRLS' FACES? I CAN'T IMAGINE, TO SEE THE SUN LIGHT - TO BE AROUND PEOPLE...
BRO, I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WHEN A LITTLE PRETTY WHITE GIRL RAN INTO A BLACK MAN'S ARMS. SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE. DEAD GIVEAWAY. DEAD GIVEAWAY. DEAD GIVEAWAY. CAUSE EITHER SHE'S HOMELESS OR SHE'S GOT PROBLEMS, THAT'S THE ONLY REASON SHE'S RUNNING TO A BLACK MAN!
CHARLES, THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE MAN. CHARLES RAMSEY, NEIGHBOR - HEARD SCREAMING, TOOK ACTION, WENT AND DID WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO. THE REST IN UNFOLDING HERE BEFORE US HERE ON SEYMOUR. I'M GOING TO SEND IT BACK TO YOU.
DONT USE YOUR FUCKING PHONES AT THE MOVIES
WITH EVIL DEAD RISE OFFICIALLY DROPPING ON MAX RECENTLY, AND SINCE WE MISSED THE THEATRICAL RELEASE, WE ARE FINALLY REVIEWING EVIL DEAD RISE THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF THE EVIL DEAD FRANCHISE, WE TRY NOT TO SPOIL MUCH BUT STILL COVER THE PLOT POINTS AND TALK ABOUT SOME OF THE MOST INTENSE HORROR SCENES IN RECENT YEARS,
LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF EVIL DEAD RISE, NOW STREAMING ON MAX, HIGHLY RECOMEND PUTTING THIS ONE ON FOR A WATCH, AND BUCKLE UP TOO
COMING THIS SUMMER - 7.5/10
THE VIDEO IS A HIGH-ENERGY, FAST-PACED CLIP FILLED WITH VIBRANT COLORS, CAPTIVATING VISUALS, AND EXPLOSIVE ACTION. IT FEATURES A DIVERSE CAST OF CHARACTERS ENGAGING IN EXHILARATING ADVENTURES AND THRILLING FEATS. THE MUSIC IS PUMPING, SETTING THE MOOD FOR AN INTENSE AND ELECTRIFYING EXPERIENCE. FROM HEART-POUNDING STUNTS TO JAW-DROPPING SPECIAL EFFECTS, THIS VIDEO WILL LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS AND WANTING MORE!
CAN ANYONE HELP MAKE OUT WHAT LG IS SAYING IN THIS?
RANTALLION IS 18TH CENTURY PROFANITY/SLANG FOR A PENIS THAT IS SHORTER THAN THE BALLS.
NOW THAT IS OUT OF THE WAY, LETS TALK ABOUT THE VIDEO.
UNLIKE THE RANTALLION, THIS VIDEO HAS AN IMPRESSIVE LENGTH COMING IN AT EXACTLY 10 HOURS.
THIS VIDEO HAS GREEN THINGS EVERYWHERE. AND THE GREEN THINGS ARE DOING THEIR BEST WHILE ENDURING AN ONSLAUGHT OF RADIATION FROM A NATURAL FISSION REACTOR LOCATED IN OUTER SPACE.
THE GREEN THINGS ARE LIT, BECAUSE THE VIDEO HAPPENS DURING THE DAY. IT LOOKS LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING BUT ITS THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
ANTELOPE EAT THIS STUFF, BUT THAT IS NOT IN THIS VIDEO.
ANYWAY, AT AROUND 6:37 IN THE VIDEO A CLOUD PASSES OVER AND IT IS THE MOST ACTION-PACKED MOMENT IF YOU WANT TO SKIP TO THE BEST PART.
THE BACKGROUND HAS A SHED OF SOME SORT AND MAYBE SOME GARBAGE PILED UP.
START OF RECORDING...
GIRL, SEATED
GUY WITH GLASSES ON LEFT
GUY IN GREY WITH SIDEWAYS CAP
GIRL ASKS IF CAMERAMAN STARTED RECORDING
CAMERAMAN: "I DID"
SIDEWAYS-CAP DUDE MAKES GANG SIGNS, GUY IN GLASSES SPINS HIS ASS TOWARDS CAMERA WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FARTING
GANG-SIGNS: "OOHH MYYY GOODD"
SHITTER: "I THINK I JUST SHIT MYSELF"
SEATED GIRL, SLOWLY COMPREHENDING: "OH MY GOD YOU TOTALLY JUST POOED YOUR PANTS. ALL I SMELL IS POO"
CAMERAMAN: "GO TO THE BATHROOM..."
GIRL: ............................................"ALL I SMELL IS FUCKING -"
CAMERAMAN: ...................................................................." - SHITTER"
It starts with me in front of a green screen looking really cool. I’ve got nice hair, and good skin. I’m glowing. I’m wearing a grey tshirt and red sweatpants. There is a Casio keyboard in front of me. The song starts and I lip sync perfectly with my recording. I also play the keyboard very good. I dance really well, and even play the guitars solos. It is in front of a green screen the whole time and it’s really cool.
JOY RIDE, the first comedy of July 2023 Directed by one of the writers of Crazy rich Asians and Disney's Raya and the last dragon, comes a " Raunch Com " or raunchy comedy about an unlikely group of friends travelling around china on a business trip that turns into a "Grand adventure" to find our main character Audrey's birth mother, the movie quickly de-rails from this initial plot point to deliver weird sex montages or a literal 2 and a half minute music video to the entirety of Cardi b's Wet Ass Pu**y, only returning to the mom plot when its convenient, and the director wants the movie to have heart.
The little emotional scenes we do get are few in far between them pooping condoms of cocaine out their butts or another sex montage, having a full 180 like that in tone every 10 minutes is enough to give you whiplash, i get its a comedy but you cant just say vagina over and over again, you still have to write an actual movie along with the jokes you want to tell, having every notable piece of dialogue between characters that's disguised as heart is just set up for a joke they will tell in 5 min, and its rinse and repeat for the entirety of the film
the dog: Hi. (ba)
the dog: It’s me. (ha ba ba)
the dog: I’m the dog. (ha ba ba da ga da)
the dog: My name is the dog. (ha ba ba da da ba)
the dog: Everyone likes me. (ha da ba da ga da ga)
the dog: I’m cute. (ha da da)
the dog: I think I will, bark at nothing now. (ha ba ba, ha ba ba da ga da ga)
the dog: Bark, Bark, …Bark. (ba, ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba, ba, ba, ba)
the dog: Who’s that. Coming up over the horizon in my sky. Who dares? (ha ba ba ba, ha ba ba ba ba ba, ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba)
Dog of Wisdom: It’s me, the Dog of Wisdom. (ha wa wa, haaaaa)
Dog of Wisdom: I dispense wisdom from my mighty wisdom tooth. (haaaa, ha wa wa, haaaa)
the dog: Hi. (ha)
the dog: What is your wisdom? (ha ha da ba da ga)
Dog of Wisdom: Here is my wisdom… (ha wa wa wa)
Dog of Wisdom: If your ball is too big for your mouth, it’s not yours. (ha ba ba ba, ha wa wa wa, haaa)
the dog: That’s good wisdom. (ha da ba da)
Dog of Wisdom: Thanks. I also know a few knock-knock jokes. (ha, ha wa wa wa, ha wa wa wa)
Dog of Wisdom: Knock knock. (ha ha)
the dog: Who’s there? (ha da des)
Dog of Wisdom: Ball (ba)
the dog: Ball who? (ba de ga)
Dog of Wisdom: Ball eve it or not, I’m walking on air! (ba da da ba da de, ba ga da ba da)
Both dogs: I never thought I could feel so free! (ha ba da ga ba da de ha da ba)
Police officers shoot a gunman while preventing him from shooting his ex-girlfriend - link at the first comment
We open to a kid nervously opening a package in front of mother stating “I have no idea what this is”
“Well then give it to me and let me see what it is” she replies, annoyed
“I’m trying to see what it is!!!” He quickly darts away with something obscured by bubble wrap that has emerged from the box.
“It looks like a big metal, plastic…..vase?” He says confused.
“Well, open it then!”
“I’m opening it, CHILL!”
“It’s a bong”
He acts stunned. “What the frick????”
Mother, more disappointedly, “it’s a bong…”
The kid pleads, “what the heck?!?! I didn’t order that. I ordered an Xbox card. I ordered an Xbox controller.”
Again the mother disappointedly states the obvious. “It’s a bong.”
“Oh wow, I did NOT order that.”
The mother notices she is being filmed and angrily says “do not take a picture”
Video abruptly ends.
A 2D image of renowned actor Adrian Brody is asleep in bed, alarm rings and he’s up, now slightly animated but still a 2D image of him is walking in a jolly manner to the beat of the catchiest fucking song ever made. It’s like synth-y drums and pianos, has an almost aquatic sound at one point.
He’s off through the neighborhood, sees a rainbow, passed some sheep, sunflowers, a forest, goes passed a train, a carnival, never losing his fucking jovial mood because he’s Adrian fucking Brody.
Now he’s in the fucking ocean, just walking and enjoying life even more. He sees some sharks, some god damn dolphins, a shipwreck, jellyfish, mermaid, mother fucking ATLANTIS, he’s back on land
He’s about to see just about every iconic landmark around the globe you can imagine. From Rushmore to the Taj Mahal.
NOW HES IN SPACE, HOLY FUCK HE WENT INTO THE SUN AND CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE WITH SUNGLASSES AND HES SHREDDING ON AN ELECTRIC GUITAR
As he goes deeper and deeper into the cosmos, probably experiencing crazy amount of time dilation, a robotic deep voice coming from a non-corporeal entity starts repeating his name over and over again as he watches in confused cosmic delight.
We see down to the molecular structure of Adrien himself before the cosmos explodes outward. He becomes one with the energy that’s blasting back to earth. As it passes by structures and humans they become Brodified until the earth itself is Adrien Brody.
The end.
